Too Tired for Sex

"Please help?" Of course I will. After all, I'm the original, well educated, fun loving Man's Man! First of all, please know that this is NOT an uncommon problem, and though it's more common in women, it's a problem for some men, too. So rest assured, Sue, you're not alone. :)

Barring any medical complications, being "too tired" for sex is the #1 concern among women throughout the World. So, how do we rectify the concern? Well, it may not be easy, but if you truly love your man, you WILL make it work. Here are some fun and loving suggestions. But again, since being too tired is coming from you, you WILL have to work at making this work. But since you wrote me, I know you're willing. :)

1. Do not freak yourself out about both of you having an orgasm. Sex is far more about intimacy, closeness and overall love than a mind blowing, earth shattering orgasms. First, discuss this with your man, but simply "make" a few minutes, 2-3 nights a week simply for a fun loving make out session. Do not focus on the act of making love. If it does segue into a love making session, Excellent! If not, remember, that was not the intention of this exercise, and that's perfectly fine.

2. Make the time and be "alone" earlier in the evening and set the mood. Candles, your favorite sprits, a hot tub with bubbles, etc. Then make this evening about romance. Not necessarily about love making -- just romance. And again, if you and your man happen to make love, then that's wonderful!

3. Role playing is another fun one...Since you're the one who's too tired, pre-set this with you man where he's your "psychologist" and you call him during the day (yes, Sue, you must find 10 minutes to do so) and arrange to meet (set an appointment) so you may discuss your tiredness with your "Doctor." When you arrive at his "office" (home, with the children away for the night, or a hotel room), allow him to seduce you. You can even be "Mrs. Smith" and he, "Dr. Happy."

4. Then there's the one of my favorites that I call, "Yes. No. Maybe." What we do is go to a nice, trendy restaurant for appetizers and cocktails, and take turns picking someone of the opposite gender of ourselves, and the other, basing this purely on aesthetics, is to choose: Yes, I would do him/her. No, I wouldn't do him/her. Maybe I would do him/her. There's no jealously. Just clean, harmless, get excited fun. And if neither of us had too much to drink or eat, we go home and enjoy ourselves. :)

5. This is not to sound crass, but if it's just one-of-those-nights, and he's really "needing it" but you're just-too-tired, then love him, but let him know it's okay to use the woman he loves (yes, you, Sue) simply for a depository. Once he's satisfied himself, give him a kiss, assure him that you love him, and you both can get a nice night's sleep.

There are many times when either I, or my wife "seem" to be too tired. But when it really gets down to it, it's not tiredness, it's simply LIFE. We end up on our own schedules (she's quite busy with volunteering for a variety of things) and when she's ready, I may not, and vice versa. So, there are the times when we have to be a bit creative, and because we love and respect each other, we make the time to enjoy ourselves (yes, together :).

Bottom line, communicate openly and honestly with your man. Assuming he loves you, as you, him, then it will all work out. But remember, YOU MUST FIND TIME!

Sincerely,too tired for sex