Solo Sex

Let’s discuss solo sex – the art of self-pleasure!

Don’t have a partner? Doesn’t matter – you can still enjoy excellent sex! By engaging in solitary sex, you can reap all the benefits of a healthy sexual life.

Benefits of Solo Sex Practices

Masturbation has many useful purposes. It helps you figure out your own body and discover what makes you tick. Where are your hot spots? What kind of touch makes you ultra-horny? You’ll learn the answers to these questions when you pleasure yourself.

When you masturbate, you find out exactly what you like and what you don’t. This kind of knowledge is indispensible when it comes to ensuring your sexual gratification with a partner. Once you know exactly how to please yourself, you’re in a better position to teach your partner all the magic touches and hot spots that will drive you into ecstasy.

Pleasing yourself through masturbation has the added benefits of relieving stress, alleviating anxiety, and releasing tension in your mind and body. This leads to better mental, physical and emotional health.

Knowing yourself in such an intimate manner also helps you to bond with yourself. You’ll become more in tune with your physical desires.

One thing that I want to make clear that there is absolutely no shame in masturbation. Our society tends to tell us that masturbation is wrong and shameful. That is so not true - almost everyone engages in self-gratification at some point! So don’t feel silly or self-conscious about it. Follow your physical bliss. It’s natural (and fun)!

If your partner often masturbates and you have concerns about it, check out solo sex practices part 1 for a discussion on whether solo sex practices are okay when you're in a relationship. You may also want to look at part 2 for more information on how to deal with guilt about masturbation.

Solo Sex Ideas

When you masturbate, make sure you have enough free time to yourself so that you can truly relax and explore your body. Turn off your phone – you don’t want to be distracted or interrupted. You may want to set the mood by dimming the lights, lighting candles, and playing music that puts you in a sensual mood.

Start by familiarizing yourself with your body. If you haven’t already done so, look at your vaginal area in the mirror. Gently touch the various parts and see how it feels. You don’t have to watch yourself the entire time you masturbate, but you can if you want. It may help you to instruct your partner on exactly where to stimulate and how.

Take your time and really explore yourself. Self-exploration is important in order to understand what you want in bed. Don’t try to rush things, and don’t get frustrated if you don’t reach orgasm. Just go with the flow and enjoy each moment!

Head over to our section on masturbation ideas for more on this topic.

Solo Sex Toys

Interested in using sex toys when you masturbate? Keep in mind that it’s good to explore yourself with your fingers initially. Your fingers are slender, sensitive and soft, so they can gently mold to your body in a way that sex toys cannot.

Once you’ve mastered the art of self-pleasure by using your fingers, try spicing things up by using sex toys. There are a wide variety of solo sex toys available that can be purchased discreetly over the Internet. Feel free to enter the Adult Superstore below to see the wide variety of adults product on offer:



You can use sex toys to stimulate your clitoris and the exterior of your genitals, or you can use sex toys to insert inside vagina. There are sex toys that can do both at the same time – double the pleasure!

Better Sex Recommendation

Ladies, if your sex life needs a boost, please check out Supercharge your Sex life: Reclaim Passion in 8 Weeks for a practical, effective, holistic Passion Plan.

This is what readers have to say:

'Finally... real advice that changed my love life in such an empowering way! ...I've struggled with low libido since the birth of my gorgeous daughter - and I all but lost hope that I could ever feel sexy again. This program has made a tremendous difference in my relationship and my life. Dr. Mia, my husband and I can't thank you enough!'

~ Tiffany, Rockhampton

Solo Sex Tips

When you explore your body, always make sure to do it hygienically. Clean your hands thoroughly beforehand. If you use sex toys, make sure that they are clean also. You don’t want to take any risks that could lead to an infection.

If you have trouble relaxing and getting in the mood, make yourself horny by reading erotica or even watching porn if that's something that tickles your fancy. Discover what turns you on – you may see or read something that you want to try yourself!

Solitary sex is not only for the lonely – if you have a partner but you have trouble climaxing during intercourse, you both may benefit if you play with yourself and explore your body. You can do this in private on your own, and share your findings later. Or you can do it in front of your partner, if you feel comfortable enough. Watching you will really turn him on, and he’ll learn a lot, too! You'll find more details in our page on masturbation tips.

Be part of our Better Sex Community

We would love for you to become part of our Better Sex Community by sharing your thoughts, feelings and experiences with regards to solo sex. Through sharing we can all learn from and support each other.

Please note that all comments are moderated.

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