Solo Sex Practices When You're in a Relationship

One of the best perks of being in a relationship is having someone to frolic with under the covers. We all enjoy the physical sensation of sharing ourselves with another warm, inviting body. The tenderness of touch makes us feel connected, protected, loved. So what happens when you have the most amazing sex partner, but you still get the urge to masturbate on your own? Is that somehow a betrayal of the beauty that exists between you and your partner?

Not at all - in fact, the desire to masturbate is completely normal! Thanks to movies and TV shows, we often have this misconception that relationships are the be-all and end-all when it comes to sexual fulfillment. This creates the collective fantasy that when we are swept off our feet, that it should be completely – and that therefore, the space between our legs should be reserved 100% for sexual use only with our partner.

How realistic is this? For some couples, it might work just fine. They may be able to deftly balance the load of work and play, seeing each other often enough that they only engage in sexual practices when they are together. But for others, things may not work out so smoothly.

Reasons for Choosing Solo Sex when in a Relationship

1. You don’t see each other enough.

2. When you do see each other, you don’t get enough alone time together to be able to engage in sex (due to kids and other responsibilities, for example).

3. You may like certain sensations that only you know how to give yourself, so you have solo sex.

4. You may feel that a masturbation session will help relieve stress or tension.

5. One partner may have a bigger sex drive than the other one.

When your Partner Masturbates...

When people feel threatened by their partner’s solo sex practices, it is often due to the worry that they are “not good enough” to fulfill their partner sexually. Some people have the notion that they want to be the sole object of desire for their partner – the one and only erotic goddess to satiate every drop of his sexual thirst. Therefore they fear that if their partner masturbates, then surely his mind must be wandering to fantasies of other women (especially if you find out he’s looking at porn whilst masturbating).

If this is your concern, be upfront and talk to them about it. Communication is key to any healthy relationship. Don’t be attacking – just explain how their solo sex practices make you feel. Listen to what they have to say and try to see it from their point of view. Chances are, they love you immensely and don't mean to cause you any pain or distress. Therefore it’s always best to talk about these things with an open mind, so that you can reach an understanding.

Solo sex practices will differ from person to person. If your partner masturbates, seek to understand their point of view and their reasons for doing so. They may encourage you to have a little solo sex fun of your own, too!

To Solo Sex Practices Part 2

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