Solo Sex Practices when in a Relationship: Part 2
If you are in a relationship, you may feel a bit guilty about masturbation. You may feel unclear as to whether it is “right” to masturbate, considering you’ve got a real live person that you can get sexual with! This page discusses that feeling of guilt when it comes engaging in solo sex practices whilst in a relationship. We’ll also discuss how you can turn that guilt around, by examining ways in which solo sex can actually benefit your relationship!
How to Deal with Feelings of GuiltMany people feel that if they get the urge to pleasure themselves, they should refrain and instead “save” that sexual energy for later, when they can be with their partner. Likewise, some women may feel unsettled to discover that their boyfriend has been “sneaking off” to masturbate on his own. This can raise insecurities, causing her to feel as though she is unattractive, undesirable, and generally not “good enough” to sexually fulfill his every need.You may also wonder if masturbating while you’re in a relationship means that you are being unfaithful. On some level it may feel as though you are cheating on your boyfriend – with yourself. It’s almost like you are leaving him out of the fun. Don’t worry, solo sex practices during a relationship is normal. In many cases, it can actually be a good thing that benefits your relationship/contributes to a positive, healthy relationship in the long run. How Solo Sex Enhances your RelationshipHere are a few ways in which solo sex practices can enhance your relationship:1. If you are inexperienced when it comes to sex, it will be greatly beneficial for you to explore your body on your own, in the comfort and privacy of your own room. If you’ve never masturbated before, don’t be shy – give it a shot! There’s nothing to be ashamed of, because almost everyone has masturbated at some point, and many people do it on a regular basis. By touching yourself and becoming more aware of what stimuli turns you on, you are in a better position to instruct your partner when you are in bed together. He will appreciate this! He wants to please you, and if you already know what you want to do and how to drive yourself wild – he would love to learn how it’s done. 2. While sexual activity is normally thought of as an act between two people, we are fully capable of pleasing ourselves sexually. In a way this is a gift from nature! The benefits of sexual pleasure are that it releases tension, relieves stress, and makes you feel better. You don’t need to wait to be with a partner to experience these positive effects – you can do it on your own. By having solo sex, you can reduce some of the pressure (conscious or subconscious) that you and/or your partner may have in regards to sexual fulfillment. If you’re able to satisfy yourself on your own, that gives you more time to engage in other forms of bonding activities with your partner. 3. If one of you has a much greater sex drive than the other (and we all have different levels of interest, that’s just the way we are), solo sex can fulfill the needs of the person who has the larger sex drive, while taking the sexual pressure off the other one. In this way you can both receive the sexual fulfillment that meets your needs. 4. Because learning how to bring a woman to orgasm isn’t always the easiest task, there’s a chance that your man just hasn’t found that magic knowledge yet. If this is the case, you can continue to do your best instructing him on what you like when the two of you are in bed together. Then when you are alone, you can fulfill your own sexual needs in your own magic way. For some women, getting sexually excited and not being able to orgasm can lead to frustration, so masturbating yourself to orgasm later can release that tension. 5. Sometimes we can’t spend as much time with our partners as we would like. If one of you is traveling or if you live in separate cities, you can each engage in solo sex while on the telephone, instant messaging, or webcam. This becomes a shared form of solo sex practices, because you can hear and/or see each other in the act. Above all, if you have a partner then the best solo sex practice is to be open and upfront about what you each do on your own. Discuss how you feel about it. If one of you doesn’t like the idea, examine why. It could reveal issues of jealousy or insecurity or other latent attitudes about sex. Either way it will reveal a lot about each of your approaches and views on sexual activities. If your partner doesn’t want you to masturbate, find out why. He may find it threatening, but solo sex is not the same as cheating. Reassure him partner that you find him extremely desirable, otherwise you would not be with him! Let him know that you enjoy his company in more than just sexual ways, and that spending time with him is meaningful whether or not you have sex. So, what are your gut feelings when it comes to solo sex practices in a relationship? Does it flow in harmony with your partner’s feelings on solo sex, or are the two of you at odds with the subject? If you can discuss these things openly with one another, you will strengthen your understanding of each other and deepen your connection. Don’t be shy – talk about it!
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