Sexually Transmitted Infections

The diagnosis we dread…

Few things are more upsetting than finding out you have one of the many sexually transmitted infections (STI's) that go around. Not only are their health risks to consider, it also has a huge impact on your confidence, emotional health and lifestyle.

Did you know?

- It is believed that up to 75% of sexually active people aged 15 – 49 are infected with the human papilomavirus (HPV), which is linked to genital warts and cervical cancer.

- Genital herpes can be spread when no symptoms are present. Check out thefacts.com.au for useful information about what herpes is, how you catch herpes and what herpes treatment options are available.

- Bacterial infections, such as Chlamydia, is one of the sexually transmitted infections that, if left untreated, can cause fertility problems.

This is especially alarming since we know that most sexually STI's can be treated. Cervical cancer can also be prevented by getting regular Pap smears.

Emotional implications

Tina's Story

A few months after having casual sex with a work colleague, she noticed small red blisters on her outer labia, which soon became open sores that hurt when she wiped herself. Tina was prescribed a course of antiviral medication and as the sores crusted over and started to heal over a period of about six weeks, she itched like crazy.

Dealing with the physical discomfort of outbreak after outbreak was bad enough, but even worse was her sense of shame and embarrassment. Due to a religious upbringing, she wondered if she was being punished for having premarital sex. She became paranoid about spreading the infection accidentally and refused to share soap with her flatmates. She felt isolated and unsure of herself. As she increasingly withdrew from her former social life, her loneliness increased and she became severely depressed.

Tina’s antiviral medication was eventually changed to help keep the virus dormant. The outcome was less severe outbreaks every four or five months, which helped her to consider dating again. During therapy we worked on coping with her depression, as well as increasing her self-esteem and sexual confidence. We also role-played ways for her to tell new partners that she had an STI. She understood that her honesty could lead to rejection, but decided that she didn’t want to be with anyone who were appalled by her diagnosis.

Tina slowly pulled out of her depression and entered into a committed relationship with someone who was very understanding. During her last session, she said that she was hoping to volunteer her services at her local community centre to help other women become more proactive about their sexual health.

How do you tell a new partner?

I suggest that you choose your timing well – after you’ve built up some rapport with your date, but before the relationship turns physical. You can say something like the following:

‘I want to be honest with you. I have an STI. I manage it by……(fill in how you manage it depending on the nature of the STI). It’s not all of who I am, so I hope we can still see each other.’

Be prepared that your date could react in a number of different ways. He may need time to digest the news, so don’t get stuck on his initial knee-jerk reaction. Most of the time people tend to be pretty understanding, but whatever happens, you can be proud of yourself for doing the wise thing.

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