Sexual Performance Anxiety

Treatment Options

Sexual performance anxiety is a paralyzing fear that sex will not be successful. This is usually the result of self-defeating thought patterns regarding your ability to get or maintain an erection, or your ability to satisfy your partner.

To assess whether you have performance anxiety, ask yourself the following questions:

* Are you afraid or embarrassed to have sex?

* Are you concerned you may not be a good enough lover?

* Do you have concerns about your erections?

* Do you feel embarrassed because of ejaculating too quickly?

If you've answered 'yes' to any of these questions and your anxiety is interfering with your ability to experience pleasure during sex, it may be helpful for you to discuss your worries with a sex coach or therapist.

Overcoming Sexual Performance Anxiety

1. Recognizing your limiting thoughts and changing your self-talk;

2. Indulging in fear-free and pleasurable solo sex;

3. Engaging in fear-free and pleasurable sex with a partner.

(Get information about Online Sex Therapy)

Solo sex and partner sex can be practiced in various ways, including:

* imagined rehearsal (the sexual behaviour is played out in your mind with the help of guided visualization until it becomes easy and you are anxiety free);

* verbal or written practice (where the sexual behaviour is verbalized but no actual behaviour occurs);

* and real-life practice (actual solo or partner sexual experiences).

The aim is to manage your anxious thoughts in a different way, while learning what your body responds to and what is enjoyable. It is particularly important to take the focus off erection and orgasm. Your attention needs to be on what feels good in the moment. In fact, sometimes it is helpful to forbid yourself to orgasm in order to relax into the experience and take the pressure off completely.

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