Boosting Sexual Chemistry
Sexual chemistry makes the difference between so-so sex and the swinging from the candelier variety. So how do you know if you have a sexual spark - and more importantly, can you boost chemistry in your relationship when you don't have it?
The unfortunate truth about sexual energy is that you either have it with another person - or you don't.
Sexual chemistry is the delicious sexual charge that you experience towards another person. It's inexplicable - you just feel turned on in their presence. This is most noticable at the beginning of a relationship, but true sexual energy between two people never dies. It is the spark that keeps sexual tension high even in long-term, committed relationships.
For various reasons we don't always enter into relationships with partners that we have chemistry with. A woman often opts for the safe option when choosing a mate to create a family with. At the time it seems more important to choose a provider and protector for you and your offspring. However, once those basic needs are met, women often find themselves profoundly disappointed about being in a relationship with someone who doesn't make their hormones sing.
So... if the choice has been made and you find yourself in a committed relationship with someone that you don't have great sexual chemistry with, what can you do?
Here are a few things you can try to create more sexual chemistry...
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How to Create more Sexual Chemistry
1. Hormones have a lot to answer for when it comes to sex drive. One way to increase chemistry in your relationship is to (re)introduce regular affectionate touching, holding, hugging and kissing into your relationship – without any expectations of sex. The reason why this works is that these kinds of affectionate behaviours increase levels of oxytocin in the blood stream, which is one of the hormones that influence sex drive and sexual response.
2. It is essential to work together to re-romanticize your relationship in whatever ways will work the best for both of you. That includes date nights and little surprises and naughty weekends, but also solid communication about your needs. You have to tell your partner what your needs are. If you do not tell them what you like or ask for what you want, how can they possibly know? No matter how much you want them to be, your partner is just not a mind-reader and struggles to understand the opposite sex at the best of times.
3. Fantasies are great sexual enhancers and you can use them to spice things up between you and your partner. Fantasies are often a healthy outlet and it is not the same as acting those fantasies out… so go for it.
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