Sexual Chemistry between Two People

by Iris
(United States)

Reader Post: 'I've been thinking about sexual chemistry between two people a lot over the past few years and until recently still hoped that there is something one can do to increase it if it doesn't come naturally.

I've been married for eight years and I have two beautiful children. I had a few redhot sexual relationships before I got married, but always with 'bad boys'. I was never in love - it was all about the sexual chemistry and it was great!

When I was ready to settle down, it just so happened that a guy who I considered to be my best friend confessed that he had always been in love with me. It felt warm and lovely and safe, so we started dating and the next thing I knew, we were engaged.

Sex with him has never been fireworks - and these days I really miss not having sexual chemistry with my life partner. Sex has become a chore - and I feel guilty even saying this given how good he is to me. Our relationship is fine in all other aspects.

I've come close to having an online affair, but so far I've been staving it off - just because I don't want to hurt my husband and I want to keep our family together. Still, it's hard...

I found your post on sexual chemistry really helpful. Deep inside I guess I've known that sexual chemistry between two people is either there or it's not. Now it's just working out how to deal with our lack of chemistry for the rest of my life.'