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Reader Post in Sex Diaries: 'Sex has become a little bit of a battlefield for me lately. My husband likes to play rough and I'm getting tired of it. It seems that the only things that turn him on these days are biting, hair pulling, spanking and pinching - things that used to be a novelty and enjoyed by us both; now they've become the only meal on the menu.
I don't see myself as a prude and I like it rough too - sometimes. But most of the time I simply crave tenderness.
I've discovered that the degree of roughness I can deal with is directly linked to how good the rest of our relationship is at any given time. If I feel connected to him and there is no unresolved conflict between us, I can easily let go and take on the submissive role that he prefers me to be in when we're making love. However, if I feel a bit distant from him, it's easier to feel humiliated in bed. I guess the boundaries between role play and reality become blurred.
I've mentioned my need for tenderness to him a few times, but I don't think he really gets it. Or sometimes love-making starts off with it but as he gets more and more excited, the whole mood changes. Maybe I've made a mistake by entering into the submissive role too often in the past, so he doesn't see any problem with it. Or maybe it's just what fulfils his needs most.
I just think sex should be pleasurable to both the man and the woman. Role play is fine, rough sex is fine, but what happened to a variety of moods and behaviours that delight us both? Even if it's not always at the same time...'