Sex Diaries: Losing my Self-Confidence

by Anonymous

I have been in a ten-year relationship with a gorgeous man who is five years younger than me. I'm on the wrong side of forty and he looks like he is just entering his prime. I wouldn't call myself unattractive, but my body is definitely giving out on me. Admittedly, I don't spend hours at the gym - I've always hated any form of exercise.

I know he is very visual when it comes to sex - and I fear that he just doesn't find me all that sexy any more. This morning I initiated sex. He loves it when I cuddle into him and play with his penis. After a while he started fingering me and gave me a lovely orgasm. He then penetrated me, thrusted for a short while and then just stopped. He just didn't seem to have any interest in 'getting there'.

I want to turn him on and I want him to find me attractive, but I just feel so overwhelmed at the thought of trying to change my body at my age. There's no way I'd ever be able to compete with women half my age - no matter how much time I spend at the gym.

I've never really thought much about getting older, but these days I really see how the passage of time is wreaking havoc. I guess I'm losing my self-confidence. How sad!