Have you ever put your nose into a deeply perfumed rose to draw in the scent, or sat at the water’s edge and watched the sun slowly sinking below the horizon? Have you ever danced with pure joy or felt the sensation of silk sheets on your skin, or lay in silence next to your lover basking in each other’s presence? What about listening to the tinkling sound of a wind chime as a breeze gently wafts by or the words: ‘I love you’?
Awaken your senses
If you ask me what the most important elements of a satisfying sexual encounter might be, I’d have to place sensuality very close to the top of the list. Sex becomes enjoyable through the senses – what you see, hear, smell, taste and feel.
Awakening your senses is about sex play. It's experimenting with different skin sensations. Start with varying kinds of touch: stroking, tickling, circling, grabbing, massaging, kneading, licking.
Collect different materials and keep them handy for just the right moment… Feathers maybe. Silky scarves. Leather. Lace.
Use scented oils or lotions to massage each other or for lubrication (but keep oil-based products away from condoms).
Music is a great mood-enhancer when you’re making love. Listening to a truly inspiring piece of music has the same benefits as meditation. It silences the thinking mind and impacts your emotions in a powerful way. Play different types of music when you're making love. See how the mood changes during love songs, energetic dance music, or pounding rock. Here are a few of my favourite
Use a blindfold to heighten your awareness of the other senses. Close your eyes for a few minutes if you're usually stimulated by visuals. If you often have sex with the lights on, turn the lights off for a change.
Visit the page on
for ideas to create a passionate atmosphere in your bedroom.
A sense of Touch
Light touch is often a lot more sensual than anything heavy-handed. A peacock feather is ideal for tickling the skin. Remember, body touch is essential for women to wake up the sexual centres. Sexual touch is essential for men to wake up the rest of the body.
Use your breath to lightly blow your lover's body from his toes to his head. Go slow. Switch on your awareness and really feel it.
Latest research has only recently confirmed what aroma-therapists have stated since forever: What you smell has a direct bearing on how you think and feel.
It’s highly subjective, of course, but these are some of the scents that bring a touch of magic to my life:
Soft and delicious, the scent of ripe, juicy mango excites my sense of pleasure. Besides eating it (don’t you?), I love drinking mango martini's, eating mango ice-cream in bed, and using it in body sprays and body washes.
There’s something fun and flirtatious about the scent of coconut. Creamy base notes of coconut in products never fail to remind me of summer and lazy days on the beach. Perfect for body lotions and self-tanning moisturisers.
Jasmine always reminds me of childhood birthdays when friends pinned masses of these exotic orientals to my clothes for the day. It’s timeless allure sets pulses racing – and I don’t just mean yours!