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Reasons Women Have Affairs
Have you ever wondered what are the reasons women have affairs? There is no question that female infidelity is on the rise. Studies show that more and more women are likely to be unfaithful – or admit to it. While men classically stray in their 30s, career girls in their twenties seem to be the biggest group of women having affairs. One survey found that a quarter of women in this age group had cheated while on holiday without their partner.
Male and Female Infidelity
Infidelity expert Ruth Houston, who has interviewed 7000 people on their attitudes to infidelity, explains that there are distinct differences in the reasons women have affairs vs male male infidelity. Men typically cheat purely for sex, even though they may provide reasons such as pressure at work or feeling undermined in their relationships or because their dads did it. Men who cheat often crave more sex, or better sex, or more variety. As Tess Stimson, author of The Adultery Club and Beat the Bitch, says: ‘There’s a saying that men need three things – food, shelter, pussy and, oh, new pussy.’ A lot of men who are unfaithful also have a sense of entitlement: they have the attitude that it is their right to sleep with whoever they like.
Although reasons women have affairs are generally more intricate, a growing minority of young, successful women seek out affairs primarily for the lust, the sexual high, or as Ruth puts it, for ‘ego embellishment’. Where once it was shameful for a woman to have an affair, some of the reasons women have affairs include females equating feelings of sexiness and desirability with how many men they sleep with.
More Reasons Why Women have Affairs
The motives for women catching up in a race that men used to win hands down are multifaceted. Reasons women have affairs include dissatisfaction in a relationship, boredom, and revenge can all play a role. Even though some women cheat because they want more (or more satisfying) sex, being unfaithful tends to be mainly about a desire for intimacy and closeness. They want to feel appreciated and recapture a feeling of romance. The illicit nature of an affair also adds to the thrill. It brings back a sense of excitement that tends to fade in long-term relationships.
A classic way that women tend to be drawn into female infidelity is when an emotional bond is created with another man – possibly at work or online. Sometimes the connection is made in the same room as the woman’s partner: she meets someone who shows a willingness to listen to her in a chatroom, while her partner sits next to her watching the football on TV.
Online relationships that spill out into the real world don’t always work out either. The sad thing is that with a little bit of effort, the reasons women give for cheating could be easily remedied in their primary relationships. For women, the spark usually dies when no attempt is made to keep romance alive.
Another reason why women cheat is because they find it easier to have an affair than leave a relationship. In these cases women cheat as a last resort, because they’re not getting what they need from their partners. Women tend to be emotional creatures and men don’t always know how to tune into that. Being with another man then turns out to be a catalyst. It shows them that they can find happiness with someone else, which gives them the courage to end a relationship gone stale. In some instances, when the affair doesn’t turn out all they had hoped it to be, they recommit to their primary relationships. If their partners find out, however, there is usually little hope of repairing the damage.
Alison Tinsey, author of Confessions of an Unfaithful Heart, has a different take on reasons why women have affairs. She says that women are sometimes unfaithful because they have issues with themselves, for example looking to men to make them feel good rather than knowing how to feel good on their own.
Whatever the reasons for female infidelity, they always signal a turning point in a relationship. It doesn’t necessarily mean the end, but it’s incredibly hard to regain trust. If you’re feeling neglected, it’s better to communicate with your partner about it and find solutions within the relationship.
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