Your Best Ever Orgasm


Orgasm



The female orgasm is a marvellous thing. It’s a powerful pain-killer because of the release of endorphins, burns up close to a thousand calories, promotes cardiovascular conditioning, makes your skin glow, and improves overall body tone.

What’s more, women are capable of achieving multiple orgasms. In fact, researchers have recorded a woman climaxing a mind-blowing 134 times in one hour.



For more great orgasm stories, ranging from the bizarre to the hilarious, enjoy the video, 10 Things you didn't know about orgasm. Great stuff! We would also love for you to share your personal orgasm stories for our research on the female orgasm. Visit this page to read what other better-sex-4-women readers have to say about their personal experiences achieving climax.

What’s Normal?

In the therapy room, an extraordinary amount of women tell me they have problems reaching a climax. Understandably, this leads to a lot of distress. Not being able to ‘get there’ is like cooking a delicious meal and not being allowed to join in the feast.

Research confirms that orgasm problems are more prevalent than what most people realise. One study found that less than 30% of women are able to 'get there' when having sex (another study mentions 15 %!). But don’t despair. Dry spells are common. One thing is certain: the more pressure you put on yourself, the more difficult it tends to be.

It’s also good to know that ecstasy won’t descend on you over a few thrusts. Penetration alone is rarely enough, unless you choose a sex position that stimulates the most sensitive areas of the vagina (on the front vaginal wall), or where your pelvis is pressed against some part of your partner. The thrusting motion pulls down the labia, which in turn stimulates the clitoris. And presto - you’ve achieved the Big O!

A lot of women confide that oral sex is their favourite way to orgasm. Being on top seems to be the easiest.

The average orgasm lasts about 20 seconds, but the strength varies from woman to woman. It also changes at different times of the month with your hormone levels.

Look out for libido busters that can spoil the fun. Did you know it takes only two alcoholic drinks to decrease your ability to climax? Read more about what you can do to boost your libido if it stands in the way of having a fulfilling sex life.

The greatest orgasms happen when you are most relaxed and you just give yourself over to the experience. You need to get out of your head and into your body. To find out more, you may find the following pages useful:

-Top Techniques for Vaginal Climax

-Best Vaginal Positions for Climax

-The Pleasure of a Sensual Massage

-Achieving a Whole Body Climax

-The Ecstasy of Loud Orgasms

-The Orgasm Diet

-The Ultimate Satisfaction

Tips for Great Orgasm

Here are some tips and techniques for spectacular orgasms:

Settle Down

Allow yourself time to get aroused. The transition from the business of your every-day chores to settling into the sexual act can be enormous – especially if there are still 30 unfinished tasks on your to-do lists. There has to be a conscious shift in your mind from doing to just being.

Set the Scene

Spontaneity is great, but sometimes a bit of preparation is just what you need to get you in the mood. Unwind in the bath (bubbles and candles are optional), shave and moisturise, and put on something that makes you feel feminine and sexy.

Exercise Mindfulness

Being mindful is about being fully in the moment. It refers to a state of awareness, focus and openness which allows you to engage fully in whatever you’re doing at any moment. Center yourself by taking five slow, deep breaths. Focus on exhaling fully until your lungs are completely empty. Relax into the experience. If you find this difficult, it may help to learn more about Mindfulness and Body Psychotherapy.

Unlock your Senses

Great sex for women is a sensual experience. Notice what turns you on most – is it what you see? What you hear? What you feel? Is it a smell or a taste? Sometimes it’s exquisite to close your eyes and just fully focus on touch. Caress your partner’s body as if you’ve never felt it before and when you’re being touched, take in every sensation. Take your time.

Show your Partner what Works for You

You’re entitled to pleasure and besides, it enhances your partner’s experience to know that you’re genuinely turned on. If you’re in tune with your body, you’ll be able to guide their hands to where you want to be touched and how. Ask for what you want.

Play

Don’t be shy to fool around with sex toys. They can bring an element of novelty and fun into the act that can only enhance your pleasure. (Make sure you have plenty of lubricant handy to eliminate any friction discomfort - vaginal dryness is a natural occurrence for many women simply because of the pressure of life, such as stress or tiredness.)

Make sure you pay a visit to www.orgasmic-earth-sex-toys.com for an in-depth look at sex toys. You'll also find some great additional tips for male and female orgasm.

Move your Body

As you progress through the stages of desire through sexual arousal, you will have the urge to move your body in different ways. Depending on the position that you’re in, you may want to arch your back, spread your legs wider, lift your hips, rock back and forth or move in a circular motion. Meet your partner’s thrusts to get a nice rhythm going. While the inner two thirds of the vagina are insensitive to touch, they’re receptive to pressure. This is why thrusting feels good. Do whatever your body needs to completely surrender to the experience.

Let Go

Don’t hold back when you approach climax. Free yourself of all your inhibitions and just enjoy!

Read more about letting go in the discussion on problems with orgasm.

For those of you with an interest in spiritual sex, make sure to visit our section on full body orgasms.

...On Faking It

Don't!

When more than 50% of women admit to faking orgasms, you have to ask yourself: What is really achieved by that? By faking you perpetuate the myth that women should climax every time they have sex. You also eliminate the option to explore what could be changed.

A common issue is the absence of enough foreplay. Most women need at least 20 minutes of stimulation to lead them to climax.

Another problem is that women aren’t confident enough to ask for what they need. But here’s the thing: if your partner cares about you, he’d want to please you. If you don’t tell him what works, there’s no way for him to know. That’s a lose-lose situation.

What if you suffer from Anorgasmia?

Anorgasmia is the medical term for difficulty reaching orgasm after ample sexual stimulation. Anorgasmia is actually a very common occurrence. About 15 percent of women report difficulties with orgasm, and as many as 10 percent of women have never climaxed. Even women who orgasm regularly only climax about 50 per cent to 70 per cent of the time.

Anorgasmia can be treated. You may benefit from lifestyle changes, couples counselling and hormonal treatment. However, a good first step is to check out the following articles that deal with female anorgasmia:

* Anorgasmia in Women

* Directed Masturbation Program for Treatment of Female Anorgasmia

* Sex Trivia

Please be part of our Better Sex Community

We would love for you to become part of our Better Sex Community by sharing your thoughts, feelings and stories about orgasm. It’s the best way for us to learn from and support each other.

Please be aware that all comments are moderated.

We're Researching The Female Orgasm!

Please help us with our Research about The Female Orgasm:

- Do you have tips and techniques to make The Female Orgasm bigger, better or longer-lasting?

- Is there a question or a personal concern about The Female Orgasm that you've always wanted to ask or explore?

- Do you have any interesting thoughts or a great orgasm story to tell (all in good taste, of course!)?

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Great Contributions from Other People in our Better-Sex-4-Women Community

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