Nakedness
When last did you take a good look in the mirror?To truly enjoy sex as the gift it can be to you and your lover, you need to make peace with your body in its most vulnerable state: Nakedness. Being body wise is as much about body acceptance despite all your flaws, as it is about looking after your body well. You can learn to celebrate your female sexuality if you open yourself to self-acceptance. Erotic Journaling ExerciseLet’s start with how you view yourself now.Take a few slow, deep breaths and allow your body and mind to relax completely. Bring your full attention to this exercise. All the answers you need are inside you; you only have to become quiet enough to hear them. Give yourself plenty of time and completely surrender to the following four-step process: 1. Close your eyes and envisage yourself naked. When you’re ready, open your eyes and make a simple drawing of your own body in any pose. 2. Use all five your senses to visualise your safe place in absolute detail. Tune in to an atmosphere of calm and tranquillity. Imagine yourself inhabiting the scene in all your unclothed splendour. Suspend any judgments about your naked self that may come to mind – just let those thoughts come and go like leaves floating on a stream. Imagine yourself moving around and feeling totally comfortable. Then find something uplifting to do. If you’re near the ocean, imagine yourself floating on the waves. In a hidden garden? Harvest bunches of sweet-smelling flowers. On a mountain top? Picture yourself doing yoga. 3. Make another drawing of your naked body as you pictured yourself in your safe place. 4. Compare the two drawings. Are there any significant differences? Write your thoughts about any insights gained in your journal. Healing StepsIf you struggle with your body image, the following healing steps may help to boost your self acceptance and confidence levels.Build up your comfort level with yourselfBuild up your comfort level with your body by delaying dressing as long as possible. Hang up the towel and put on your make-up in the nude. When you’re alone at home, go around your business naked for a while. (As always safety comes first, so make sure there is no opportunity for Peeping Toms to get a glimpse of you!)Sleep nakedIf you don’t already, start sleeping naked. Not only will it be a lovely surprise for your partner (if you have one), but it feels sensational to slip your bare body between clean sheets.Dance in the nudePut on your favourite music, close your eyes and let the rhythm move you. Twirl, dip, sway and bop your way around the room. Go slow if you like or work up a sweat. Take pleasure in the sensation of air against your bare skin.Do mirror-workUndress in front of a full-length mirror and look at yourself without judgment. Just notice every detail of your body - its shapes and curves; the colour and texture of your skin. Acknowledge your physical form completely. If you become aware of any judgmental thoughts, just notice them and let them go. Don’t hang on to them or hook into them. Thoughts are just stories your mind is telling you and just because you think it, doesn’t mean it’s true.Master your inner criticIt is common to limit yourself in life because of your inner dialogue. Get to know that little voice inside your head that speaks to you of your shortcomings. Get to know your inner critic and explore where the messages originated. Notice the voice but don't hook into it. Learn to pay attention to your judgements of yourself (and others for that matter) and reframe your thoughts when self-criticism shows up.Be loving with yourselfAll humans crave love and attention in physical form: a kiss, a pat on the back, a comforting caress, a loving embrace. There are many ways to soothe yourself with tender touch. Give yourself a hug. With your eyes closed, gently run your fingers over your stomach and chest. Massage your hands, feet and legs with lotion.Shift your focusMove your attention away from how you look to how each body part functions and supports you in delightful ways. You may not like the colour of your eyes, but they see beauty. Your ears hear your lover’s sighs. Your skin quivers when softly stroked. Your mouth sucks and licks and tastes. Your clitoris has no other purpose than giving you pleasure. As you focus on each body part, offer a gentle thank you before moving on to the next.Indulge in pleasuring yourself sexuallyDelight in exploring the sensations of touching yourself intimately. Notice what feels best as you move through the stages of sexual arousal. Nipples harden. Your vagina sweats. Experiment with touch. What stirs you? What takes you to the brink of orgasm ? What hurls you over the edge?Try body psychotherapyBody psychotherapy will help you understand the link between your body and emotions. Deep massage, yoga and healing body visualisations are some of the exercises that will help you heal past traumas that left their mark on you on a cellular level.Get supportSome women are so disconnected from their own bodies that they find any exercises on embracing their nakedness impossible to do. If this is you, see a counsellor or psychologist who can support you through the process. You don’t have to be alone in your struggle for self-acceptance.(From Nakedness) (Back to Body Wise) (Back to Better Sex Home Page)
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