Men Low Libido
Question: What do I do if my husband doesn't want to have sex with me anymore?Dear Glenn, What do I do if my husband doesn't want to have sex with me anymore? I don't know much about men low libido, but we have been married for about two years now and ever since the honeymoon, things just seemed to have changed. He's always too tired or just not in the mood. I always have to make the first move. I've also tried surprising him with new lingerie and a few sex toys, but I feel like nothing I do turns him on. He says he finds me sexy and he doesn't want anyone else, so why reject me? He doesn't always get aroused, but when he gets into it, he seems to enjoy it. Is it just male low libido? Glenn, I've even wondered if my husband might secretly be gay. Please help! Sarah-Lee
Glenn's Answer:
Dear Sarah-Lee,First of all, you asked me questions, that without personally knowing you, your husband or your overall family situation, makes it impossible for me to give you finite answers. However, I am the original, well educated, fun loving Man's Man, so let's see if I can help in any way... Please know that his not wanting to have sex with you has NOTHING to do with you personally. From what I've researched on male low libido, most married men who lack a desire for sex will admit that it does not have to do with their spouse. It's their problem, but many men do have a very difficult time admitting a sexual issue. It could be physical, psychological or physiological. But as I mentioned, not knowing your two personally, I cannot answer with certainty. But if your husband is open enough to seek professional help from a doctor, perhaps you two can get to the root of why he does not or cannot have sex with you. For instance, he may lack testosterone? This is one example that one may not know even exists without being open and honest with a doctor. Another possibility could be that prior to your marriage, he looked at you as a fun, sexy, sexual being, which is usually the first draw in two people being attracted. But after the "honeymoon," he found you as someone more than just a sexual being -- someone he now fully respects and adores, which can lead to a lack of sexual desire with that person. Some men only enjoy sex with someone for whom they do not have respect. While the one they now "respect" is put on a pedestal and treated as a loving piece of art -- not one to be touched by anyone! As for your question of his sexuality, I simply cannot answer that. I do not know him. Talk with him. Be open and honest. Speak lovingly. Let him know you're there for him. If he's gay, perhaps he will admit it if he knows you are truly there for him. Should you question his sexuality and he's not gay, and if he does not have much of a sense of humor, he may not take it too well. My overall advice, seek professional help -- counseling and or a medical doctor. Regardless of what you two do, I hope you're both very happy! Sincerely, -Glenn If you found Glenn's advice on men low libido helpful, feel free to browse the rest of our Advice Column for Women. (From Men Low Libido) (Back to Advice Column for Women) (Back to Better Sex Home Page)
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