Leaving my previous relationship was the best thing I ever did!

by Zelda
(Queenstown, NZ)

I've read your article on ending relationships with interest and realized that I intuitively made use of quite a few of your suggestions, Dr. Mia. When I couldn't decide whether to stay or go in an emotionally destructive relationship, I spent hours journalling, talking to friends, and eventually spoke to a therapist as well. This turned out to be the best decision I ever made.

My therapist helped me understand that my fear of leaving had to do with an even deeper fear of being alone. I was worried that I wouldn't meet someone else to spend my life with. This in turn had to do with my low self-image. At the time it was more comfortable to stay in a bad relationship than believe I was good enough to create a better one with somebody else.

As my self-esteem and confidence improved in therapy, it became easier to take the necessary steps to break it off. What a relief!

The best thing about it? I still haven't entered into a new relationship but I actually enjoy my new-found independence. I have time to get to know me better - and I'm getting stronger and happier every day.

I will never do this to myself again... a relationship either works or it doesn't - and if it doesn't and can't be fixed, one is better off to make a clean break.