Infidelity

Infidelity

Infidelity is the most damaging violation of trust in a committed relationship. The word ‘fidelity’ originates from the Latin words fides (meaning ‘faith’) and fidere (meaning ‘to trust’). Successful relationships need both. Unfortunately affairs happen frequently – even in relationships where one or both partners seem to be perfectly happy. Sustaining long-term sexual interest in anyone is challenging, and both sexes are equally vulnerable to the perils of predictability and boredom.

Types of Extramarital Affairs

Fantasy

Infidelity can be mental rather than physical. There is no doubt that while many people are having sex with their primary partner, they are fantasizing about someone else in their mind. Sex therapists often encourage these fantasies in clients who need help with arousal and achieving orgasm. Private sexual fantasies are generally considered acceptable in relationships, because there is no physical contact with a third party. Some fantasies can be shared as a healthy part of sex play, but common sense needs to prevail. If one partner has body image issues or feels a little self-conscious about his or her prowess between the sheets, there is a risk that their partner’s mind games would cause feelings of resentment or hurt.

Pornography

The idea of watching porn as a form of cheating in a committed relationship is highly controversial – yet nothing new. Men (and to a much lesser extent women) – who love their porn – deny that there is any wrongdoing on their part because, as in the case of private sexual fantasies, there is no physical contact with someone else. Most men are notoriously visual when it comes to sexual arousal and view porn as a highly desirable sex enhancer. Several studies show that women get turned on by porn as well, even when denying it. In these cases physical tests showed signs of vaginal lubrication and engorgement of the female genitals confirming their sexual arousal. However, a lot of women still struggle with accepting porn in the relationship, because it makes them feel devalued and disrespected. They feel they can never measure up – and studies show that they actually do have a point. It turns out that exposure to pornography in a long-term relationship decreases the perceived desirability of an available sexual partner. In other words, watching porn can create unrealistic expectations about what an average person looks like in the nude, which reduces sexual desire for real-life lovers. Whether viewing porn is counted as a valid form of cheating depends on individual perspectives.

Online Affairs

A full-blown online affair can be just as damaging to a committed relationship as any other form of cheating. Online affairs usually start with flirting on social network sites or in chatrooms - often as a result of loneliness or unfulfilled needs in the primary relationship. The flirting gradually becomes more sexual in nature. Online affairs may evolve into cybersex, phone sex and eventually meeting up to pursue a physical relationship.

One-Night Stands

A single one-night stand typically happens on impulse. An opportunity to cheat may arise whilst travelling away from home, at a work function, or a night out with the boys (or in the case of women, with the girls). Alcohol or recreational drugs are often factors as they lower inhibitions.

A Series of One-night Stands

There is a saying, ‘once a cheater, always a cheater.’ This is certainly true for those who engage in a series of one-night stands while married or in a committed relationship. These people are often thrill-seekers, risk-takers and more often than not addicted to the sexual high of bonking someone new.

Longer-term Infidelity

Most couples acknowledge that there is a difference between one-night stands and a long-lasting affair. Longer-term infidelity involves commitment to someone outside of the relationship. This means deliberate planning and constant lying over a period of time. These types of affairs are often hardest to forgive due to the level of betrayal.

A Free Gift for You

Bliss Bo0x

The Fall-Out

Even assuming that you don’t get caught, the pressure of hiding the evidence of an affair and keeping the secret becomes an enormous strain. Leading a double life in the case of online affairs and longer-term infidelity is particularly stressful. It means that you constantly have to cover your tracks and account for your time whilst trying to keep two partners happy. The anxiety and guilt often cause depression once the blast of passion and lust has worn off – and it invariably does. If you choose to enter into a relationship with your new lover, be aware that, statistically, this relationship is twice as likely to break down as the first one.

Related Articles

* Infidelity Warning Signs

* Reasons Women have Affairs

* Reasons Men have Affairs

* Signs of a Cheating Husband

Become Part of our Community

Have you become part of our Better Sex Community yet? Please leave feedback on any thoughts or experience you may have with regards to infidelity. The more we share our knowledge and stories, the better we can learn from and support each other.

Please be aware that all comments are moderated.

Have Feedback About This Topic?

Please share your feedback.

Enter Your Title

What would you like to share?[ ? ]

Author Information (optional)

To receive credit as the author, enter your information below.

Your Name

(first or full name)

Your Location

(ex. City, State, Country)

Submit Your Contribution

Check box to agree to these submission guidelines.


(You can preview and edit on the next page)

What Other Visitors Have Said

Click below to see contributions from other visitors to this page...

Infidelity... I just found out! Not rated yet
Reader Post: 'I just stumbled across this page on infidelity... or maybe I was drawn to it because I just found out that my husband has been having an …

I'm having an Online Affair...  Not rated yet
Reader Post: 'I am having an online affair and I really need help. I met a man on a social networking site six months ago and we have become very close. …

Online Affairs Not rated yet
Reader Post: 'I agree that online affairs can be devastating to a marriage - yet I have engaged in three online relationships myself.

It's hard for …

Surviving Infidelity: A Personal Story Not rated yet
Reader Post: Surviving infidelity isn't a topic I ever thought I'd want to write about ~ until my wife cheated on me.

There were a lot of warning signs …

Click here to write your own.




(From Infidelity back to Better Sex Home Page)

A Gift for You

Please accept my free welcoming gift, The Bliss Box - 101 Superhot Tips for Sexual Bliss, by submitting your details below.

You will also receive the following bonuses:

* A $20 Discount Voucher for purchasing sexuality products from Condom Kingdom Online Store;

* A complimentary subscription to *Pillow Talk* - Insights on Glorious Love, Sexual Ecstasy and Living Life Fully.

Email

Name

Then

The Bliss Box - 101 Superhot Tips for Sexual Bliss

stat tracker for tumblr

Get your FREE Bliss Box!

Bliss Box

The Bliss Box
101 Superhot Tips for Sexual Bliss
by
Dr. Mia Rose


Passion Store

Supercharge your Sex Life Ebook

Supercharge your Sex Life
by
Dr. Mia Rose


All Things Love!

Healing Love Notes

Healing Love Notes.com


Sponsorships

Want to advertise on this site?

Better Sex for Women