Improve Your Life
8 Steps for a more adventurous, fun-filled life!What would it take for you to significantly improve your life? It takes guts to step outside of your comfort zone when you’re locked in a world of self-doubt and have a fear of taking risks. You can learn to move up on the happiness scale and improve your life. The more open you are to new experiences, the less anxious you will become about stepping outside of yourself to embrace new possibilities. More importantly, if you improve YOUR life, your relationships with significant others in your life will improve too. 1. Write a new storyIf you had to write a story about yourself, what would the title be? Take the time to consider how you relate to others and what made you who you are.Sometimes the first step to changing yourself is being more understanding. To create happiness for yourself, you have to have compassion with yourself. Once you start viewing yourself with more empathy, you can consider what it would take to leave behind any old, unhelpful stories about how you define yourself. Then start the process of creating a new one. One of the most important relationship skills you can ever learn, is to recognize the unhelpful patterns that keep repeating themselves in your relationships. Maybe it's time to write a brandnew story for your relationship too... 2. Identify where you’re shut downIt is impossible for happiness to break through in your personal life if you've closed yourself off. Where in your life do you feel shut down? You may feel that your relationship is going nowhere or that you’re stuck in a life of structure and routine where no excitement exists.Ask yourself, what is that one thing in your life and relationship that keeps tripping you up? What can you do differently to improve your situation? What would you like to bring to your life? What do you need to do more of? Less of? Being open means taking responsibility for making changes in your life rather than waiting for things to just magically fall into place. 3. Challenge your thinkingA lot of my work in the therapy room is about identifying thought patterns that are unhelpful to my clients. So many people don’t even realise how their thinking limits their horizons and steal their happiness. If you think something is impossible, it probably is, but once you start welcoming new possibilities, the world opens up to you.Remember, your mind has a job to do: that job is to ensure your survival. It does its job by tossing out a constant barrage of thoughts about everything that can possibly go wrong if you follow a certain path. By doing so, your mind hopes you will stay away from risks and take measures to protect yourself. The problem is when your mind becomes over-zealous and you stop challenging your fearful thoughts. If this is the case for you, try the following: Write down all the things you would love to try to improve your life and better your relationship. Take each one in turn and write down all the worries, fears and anxiety associated with them. Do you see how your mind is trying to protect you? The next time that you recognize these self-limiting thoughts, gently thank you mind and then choose a more encouraging thought. 4. Tune in to your passionate selfIt’s easy to lose your creative, spontaneous, risk-taking spirit in the business of every-day life. When last did you remind yourself of what you feel truly passionate about? What do you desire more than anything else?There are no right or wrong way to answer this question. Happiness? Health? Success? Wealth? Power? Passion is the fuel that transports you to making your wildest dreams come true. So try this: Imagine a wish you have cherished; something so special that you don’t even dare spending too much time dwelling on it for fear that it may never come true. Now imagine how you could realize it. If you know what you truly want, you can start identifying actions to move towards it – one step at a time. Then do it. 5. Say ‘yes’Embrace life by saying ‘yes’ instead of ‘no’; ‘why not?’ as a substitute for ‘why?’ Try out ‘let’s see what might happen’ rather than ‘I’m too scared that I may fail.’ It can be scary to let go of your protective shell, but the benefits are precious. Do this in the context of the important relationships in your life too.The benefits? You get to experience life more fully. Instead of disconnecting, you plug in, light up and get going. 6. Disengage from judgementBeing more open is one of the most important relationship skills that you can learn. It’s about switching from criticism to mere observation of reality – without evaluating it as right or wrong, good or bad, true or false.When you judge yourself or your partner, you get caught up in self-imposed rules, regulations and prejudices. This makes it hard to reach out and explore new possibilities. The less judgmental you are, the more compassion you bring to the world and the more happiness is naturally drawn to you. Everyone and everything can teach you something – you just have to open yourself up to receive the lesson. 7. PlayHappiness in life and relationships equals play. Daily life, with all its demands and duties, tends to devour the imaginative part of you that revels in creative thought. The good news is that your playful self isn’t lost, it’s just distracted. Here are some things you can do to grab its attention:Keep a creative journal and draw how you feel. Write down your dreams. Dance. Scrap-book your holiday snaps. Cook a meal without a recipe. Build a sandcastle next time you’re at the beach. Look for faces in clouds. Better yet, do it with your partner and reconnect on a deeper level. 8. Surprise yourselfMany people think they need to commit to a path in life and stick to it no matter what. That kind of single-minded persistence can certainly lead to success, but the downside is that you sacrifice lots of other things that may enrich your life.Unless you step off the one-goal ladder into a wider world of possibilities, you never learn that it is quite achievable to bring a passionate focus to a variety of interests. Allow yourself to be expansive. It’s a great way to improve your life and grow. (From Improve Your Life) (To Relationship Skills) (Back to Home Page)
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