Good Relationship... Better Sex

by Annie
(Krugersdorp, S.A.)

Reader Post: 'I've only come to understand the link between a good relationship and better sex in my second marriage.

My first marriage lasted for seven years and the sex was mediocre at best. So much so, that I had no desire for my husband. Sex was just another thing that I had to get out of the way because as a married woman, it was expected of me. My husband accused me of being 'frigid' and insisted that I see a psychologist. I did that for a while and was diagnosed with a mild 'sex phobia' because I was going to extremes to avoid sex. We only had intercourse when the tension between us became ubearable and then I just felt I had to 'grin and bear it'.

Needless to say our relationship in general wasn't that hot either. Looking back now, I realize I was too young when I entered into the relationship and wasn't equipped to deal with conflict well. He yelled and I withdrew - and all our problems were just swept under the carpet. Even during the time that I saw the psychologist, nothing was ever resolved... maybe because we never saw the psychologist as a couple. I'm not sure what came first - the bad relationship or the bad sex, but it all ended when my husband had an affair.

It took me a couple of years of dating before I met my second husband and oh my, what a difference! He is older than me and has a wisdom about how to have a happy relationship that has meant the world to me. We nurture each other, support each other, and have wild, fantastic sex - as often as possible!

I would never have believed when I was married to my first husband that the quality of the relationship in general could make such a difference to your sex life. Silly me! :-) But believe me, it does!'