Designer Vaginas

Nip Here, Tuck There

Is designer vaginas the new black?

Listen, there are a few things in life that women have little control over – how your vulva looks is one of them. Sure you can trim and shave and wax to your heart’s content, but the actual shape of your genitals is just what it is.

And then there was surgery….

Vulva Esteem

It’s all in the maths of course: High self-expectations plus elevated self-judgment, multiplied with negative self-comparison to other females, equals low body esteem.

If you look closely at this little formula, you’ll notice that men don’t feature in the equation at all. It doesn't seem to be men who get all excited at the mere idea of designer vaginas. In fact, it doesn’t seem to be men who put pressure on women to have perfect bodies (or breasts, or legs, or vulvas or whatever your particular insecurities are). Women don’t like their own bodies and then project their insecurities onto their partners, who are most likely just too happy to be allowed access to female bits.

Sad if you think about it.

So how do we conquer low vulva esteem? For one thing, the women of the world could unite with a new slogan: Long live lopsided vulvas!

If not that, let’s start with something a little more practical. Before you consider becoming part of the designer vaginas brigade, work on self-acceptance:

1. Make your peace with every inch of your body. Get undressed and look, really look at yourself in the mirror. Do this in a slightly detached way, just observing what you see: shape, form, colour, texture, shadows. If you notice a judgemental thought about what you set your eyes on, don’t fight it, but don’t hook into it. Just let your thoughts come and go. Remember, a thought is just a story your mind is telling you – and not all stories that your mind comes up with, are helpful!

2. Don’t try to change who you are through artificial changes to your body. If you really need surgery, then by all means, get it. But beyond that, just amplify your unique features with whatever means is available and affordable to you. Somehow I can’t imagine that your partner is going to love you more or less because you’ve had labiaplasty. However, you both may enjoy the novelty if you sport a Brazilian.

3. Rethink your quest for perfection. After all, isn’t perfection an unattainable goal? It has a sense of finality to it when the nature of life is to be constantly evolving on all levels, including the physical.

4. Redefine what you’re striving for when it comes to being beautiful. Are you only focussing on your looks, or are you thinking healthy, strong, feminine?

5. Not only is it unhealthy to obsessively compare yourself to other women, it’s futile too. There will always, always be someone prettier, younger, skinnier or richer than you are, even if your name is Oprah and you’re the most influential woman in the world (well, maybe not richer – go Oprah!).

6. When you start celebrating your uniqueness, your confidence levels soar and that contributes to how attractive you feel. Physical beauty and confidence can’t really exist without one another, because beauty - and that includes designer vaginas - doesn’t translate well without confidence and confidence makes you seem beautiful, even if your looks are not ideal.

7. Be careful not to sabotage opportunities or experiences just because you’re in a state of self-doubt. The key is to get into healthy habits of awareness. Be alert to your negative thought patterns and consciously switch to value based thinking. For example, when you become conscious of a thought that breaks you down, switch to thinking about what you’re grateful for. Wouldn't it make more sense to thank your lucky stars for the exquisite sensations you get from your vulva being stimulated?

On that note, feel free to visit our VIP Lounge for access to our clitoris stimulation tips.

See you in the VIP Lounge!

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