Hooked on Cybersex?
Angelina Jolie Kissing SceneYou know the cybersex deal. It’s late night and you’re trawling through e-mails and clicking through the Internet, briefly stopping at the home page that promises to show you the Angelina Jolie Kissing Scene. (Hey, you’re only human.)The Web glitters like the Milky Way in a box. It promises that if you keep clicking, you’ll get what you’re looking for. Fulfilment. A want satiated. A need extinguished. And sometimes you happen on a chat-room. And as you fantasise, your body responds… you get to play, to love, to rebel. The name of the game? Cybersex.
The Appeal of CybersexGone are the days when cyber romance was considered to be practised only by the lonely, sexually frustrated, desperate and deviant.These days, people who have online sex come from all walks of life. The idea of connecting without all the hassle of going out appeals to a lot of people. Of course, it's all part of the online relationships movement that appears to be growing exponentially. One of my clients – I’ll call her Tanya – is attractive, intelligent and single. She is also 48. Tanya tells me that she happens to be very good at erotic story-telling and loves the thrill of masturbating while she’s on-line. What’s more, she loves that her encounters don’t depend on her age, looks or income. As long as the webcam doesn’t get turned on, she can wear what she likes, moves how she wants and make as much noise as she wishes to. She also likes that she can say and do things that she may not feel comfortable doing in real life. Great for Couples too!
Cybersex Do’s and Don’tsSafety FirstNeedless to say, your safety is your number 1 priority. Protect your identity and make sure that strangers don’t have access to any of your personal details. People aren’t necessarily who they say they are. Sexual predators can be very charming and are skilled at manipulating who they perceive to be vulnerable to exploitation. They’re good at extracting trivial pieces of information over a period of time to build up a detailed profile of you.It’s vital that your virus protection is up to date. Never give out your bank account or financial details. Also make sure that you change the passwords on your computer regularly. Cyberstalking gets treated seriously by the law. If you ever feel that you’re being harassed, don’t panic. Don’t reply to any threatening messages, but don’t delete them either. They can be used by investigators to find the perpetrators and used as evidence in court. Set Ground Rules with your PartnerIf you’re in a committed relationship and cybersex is a regular part of how you choose to express yourself sexually, I don’t recommend you keep it secret from your partner. It may be fantasy, but it can ruin your real-world relationship.Guard your PrivacyLock the door. I’ve heard plenty of stories in the therapyroom of unsuspecting partners, parents or friends walking in on someone mid-session.Learn the RopesIt can be quite intimidating to participate at first. Start slowly and spend time watching before jumping in. Role-playing and talking sexy is a major part of the thrill – so practice what you’d like to do or say before going live.Be SensibleYou may enjoy the opportunity to let your inhibitions go in an online fantasy, but it may not be so thrilling if your session gets recorded and is seen by the rest of the world in broad daylight.
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