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Body Psychotherapy

To have a satisfying sex life, it is crucial to be in touch with your body. Body psychotherapy is about learning to understand how your body reflects not only your current emotional state, but your life history. That in turn leads to better sex.

Body psychotherapists believe your body stores the memory of trauma and emotional experiences. Suffering manifests in body tissue and muscle, leading to all kinds of physical problems such as insomnia, headaches and muscle pains. It’s almost as if your body ‘talks’ to you through negative body states: shallow breathing, slumped shoulders, and cramped postures.

Victims of Sexual Abuse

If you’ve had distressing sexual experiences at any time through out your life, or if you're a victim of sexual abuse, it is likely that your body has stockpiled those experiences making it very difficult to relax during intercourse. The good news is that it is possible for you to release those negative body states with body psychotherapy.

Become your own sex therapist by implementing the following sex therapy techniques:

Tune in

Start by tuning into your Observing Self. Right now, close your eyes and notice how your body feels. Are you hot or cold? Are your muscles stiff or relaxed? Heavy or light? Are your shoulders raised? Your hands clenched? Is your back rigid or tense? What is your breathing like? If you notice any discomfort, commit yourself to doing something about it.

States of fear, anxiety or constant hurrying are all linked to what’s happening inside your body, for example feeling uncomfortable, weakened or off-balance. Experiencing numbness is also a sign of an inner disconnection.

Spend five minutes each day putting your whole awareness into each of your body parts, moving from your head to your feet. Don’t analyse or judge anything that you feel – just observe the sensations in various parts of your body. This slows you down and stops your mind chatter, which will in turn help you shift negative feelings.

Slow down

Whenever you experience any intense emotion such as anger, anxiety or sadness, stop behaving mechanically and slow down your activity rate. Take some gentle abdominal breaths and bring your awareness to where-ever in your body you are feeling discomfort. You may feel discomfort in your chest area when you’re angry, or butterflies in your stomach when you’re anxious, or a burning in your throat when you’re sad. Breathe into that area and just be with the feeling for a while.

Change your posture

Feeling depressed? Depressed people tend to have a body posture that reflects their inner state. They may have a curved, collapsed stance, move slowly and even breathe shallowly. Changing your body posture can change your behaviour. In body psychotherapy you are encouraged to experiment with different postures that make you feel better. Pull your shoulders back and lift your chin. Breathe more deeply. Go on, try it now. There’s often an immediate shift as you reconnect with your body.

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Ground yourself

If you find yourself feeling ‘stuck’ in your head with thoughts going round and round, it will no doubt hinder your body awareness. To ground yourself, drop your awareness into your pelvis, legs and feet, and imagine your feet anchored to the floor. Slow your breathing whilst imagining that you’re drawing strength from the earth. This works even better when you’re barefoot on grass or on the beach. Body psychotherapy helps you to connect with nature too.

Get physical

Physical exercise engages you with your body like nothing else can. Go on, get moving! It doesn’t matter whether you walk, cycle, swim, garden or vacuum the floor. All movement generates bodily awareness. One of the best things you can do is to put on some music and dance your stresses away.

Nurture yourself

Think of ways to soothe your body just like you would comfort a small child in distress. Even just stroking your arms and legs with body lotion or aromatic oils are great body psychotherapy techniques to help you calm your mind. Try massaging your belly in slow, deep circles. Give yourself a foot rub. The more tuned in to your body you are, the better you’ll know what kind of touch it needs.

Get a massage

Getting a massage is an essential part of body psychotherapy as massage reaches the parts of your that words don’t touch. As your muscles start to relax, memories, feelings and realisations can push to the surface. Don’t fight it when it happens. Remember, feelings are just feelings – they can’t physically harm you in the moment. Remind yourself that you are safe now and attending to your healing.

Even better than a massage, treat yourself to an aromatherapy massage as an unbeatable stress-reliever.

Practice Yoga

Yoga is a brilliant way of improving your health and energy on all levels. One move, the Tree, demands that you centre your energy. Stand with feet a hip-width apart, then gently shift onto the weight of one leg. Bend the knee of the other leg, lifting it so that the sole of this foot rests on the thigh of your other leg. Avoid sinking the weight of the raised leg into the supporting leg. Keep your hands in the prayer position in front of your chest or above your head. Hold for one minute, then swap legs.

Do a body awareness visualisation

Body psychotherapy is all about awareness. Whether you’re sitting, standing or walking, tune into the sensation of your feet on the ground, feeling the rest of your body at the same time. Relax your shoulders and visualise your heart connecting to your shoulders, arms and hands. Visualise a connection between your heart and your head. Then tune into your belly. How does it feel? Tranquil? Agitated? Imagine your belly connecting with your hips, legs and feet. Notice your breathing. Acknowledge any negative emotions in your body. Search for any positive feelings of expansion, relaxation or comfort.

...and another visualisation

Close your eyes and take 10 slow, deep breaths. Imagine that you’re inhaling pure, healing light. Tune into your body and notice any part that aches or holds tension. Place your hand on the specific place in your body if it feels comfortable to do so. Breathe into that place in your body and exhale sharply, as if expelling the tension in short bursts. Return to breathing normally, count to five and open your eyes.

Read Grace's Story about one woman's healing journey with body psychotherapy.

Sex Therapy

Please remember, if you're one of the many victims of sexual abuse trying to get your life together, you don't have to travel this path alone. Make sure to read the section on sex therapy for more information on the support options available to you.

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