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Angel's Corner

Birth of an Angel

About Angel

Well, where do I start? Just like the average lady I am a wife and mother, I'm just a little more mixed up then normal. Then again, what is normal these days? I'm me, I just don't like the me I see in the mirror, so I'm trying to find the me I'm looking for. I know the real me is hiding within me somewhere.

To me my life hasn't exactly been a bed of roses. Sometimes I think just being born was the first mistake. Some people say that you are put on this earth for a reason; everyone has a life's purpose I just haven't figured out what mine is yet. I'm working towards figuring that out. It has taken me a long time but now is the time in my life that I have to get my life in order and put myself on the right track so to speak.

I'm an introvert; I suffer from depression so my couch is my best friend at times. I don't just suffer from depression - I have phobias, anxieties, low self esteem, a large amount of self doubt. I can never find the right way or words to tell my family and friends how I'm feeling. I fear heaps of things and I guess you could say that I am often a women of very few words unless I write them down. Or I'm speaking to the right person.

I find it very hard to open up to people. If I am in the trusted company of close friends and if they ask me the right question at the right time and if I'm feeling courageous enough they might just get some of the truth. It's a very rare occurrence if I offer up my thoughts and feelings, and I know that when I do my friends are really shocked that I've given a little insight into what is going on in my mind.

My friends often tell me that I speak in riddles; I suppose I do but when you really don't know how to put things what else can you do. You just need to tell the right person your riddle so they can solve it and give you the answer to the question that your trying to ask or the point you're trying to get across.

My doctor made the decision for me to see a psychologist. If it wasn't for her, I would still be sitting on my couch crying. I know going to see someone was the right thing to do. It was the hardest thing for me to do but I knew that if I didn't go when I did I probably would be even more depressed than I already was. I don't want to be sad and cry anymore. I want to learn how to smile and laugh and to show my family that I can go out and be happy.

-Read Extracts from Angel's Journal: 2009

-Read Extracts from Angel's Journal: 2008

-Read Angel's Love Letters


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